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(Editor's note. Standing Pat is the pen name for selected contributors to URLy Sylke Productions. Disclaimer: URLy Sylke, Inc. makes no warranty whatsoever regarding the veracity of this article.)

"The Resume; or,
No More Nambi-Pambi – P l e a s e !"
by Standing Pat

     I've been reading about what to leave out of my resume. Leave out photos, salary requirements, reasons for leaving a job, date of resume preparation and date available to begin work, references, vague references to time gaps, hobbies and outside interests. Leave out all the interesting stuff it seems to me. Now that has got to be one nambi-pambi resume, don't you think?

     Take the bull by the horns I always say. Why not put the stuff of life into your resume? After all, "this is your life" as TV show host used to say.

     So what, if your resume stands out? Better your resume stand out than be buried in a stack of forgettables. If you are hired, you are hired for your outstanding .qualities. You can capitalize on this as you take on more responsibility and enjoy correspondi ng higher compensation.

     For instance. (Man) "I can handle this project, I'm a guy who wrestle's them to the mat." (You included with your resume a photo of a young man winning a Judo contest. Now the picture, enlarged of course, hangs on your office wall.

     (Woman) "I'm not afraid of diving into this one, I'm the girl who dove from the high board at age 7." (You included a picture of an obviously brave young girl poised ready to dive from the high board. Now an enlarged picture hangs on your office wall.)

     If they hire some nambi-pambi over you, you wouldn't want to work there anyway because you wouldn't fit in, right? Right! Find an employer who isn't afraid of success because that's what you offer - successful completion of projects. Wouldn't it be refresh ing if your resume conveyed this implicit message: "Hire me because I am successful at what I do and I will bring my successful ways to this company and we will enjoy success together?"

     Away with nambi-pambi resumes! Let's look at some of these no-nos. The Photograph. Well, you don't want to include the one taken of you while showering! But why not one taken at the helm of a yacht? You will be decked out in sailing attire, of course. And you will be wearing a captain's cap to signify authority. You will be looking steadfastly into the wind. "But I don't have a yacht," you say. Borrow one, I say. You don't even have to leave shore! Besides your photographer will be able to suggest ways of capturing your indomitable spirit on film by using a yacht, plane, motorcycle, hang glider, balloon or what have you.

     Salary requirements. If you are silly about this, what can you expect? Be realistic - sort of. You would not work for less than a certain amount anyway. Why not state what you expect? If you are going for a position that reasonably will pay $40,000, then say "I expect to be making $45-50,000 very soon and a good deal more as I demonstrate my ability to assume more responsibility and thereby advance in my career." That'll wow 'm. Put this information in the body of the resume. Repeat this mantra at the inter view.

     Reason for leaving jobs. What difference does it make why you left? You left. It's what you think and say about why you left that counts. You left because it wasn't a good fit. You say: "Left Victoria's Secret to go into fashion design or whatever. You don 't mention the guys ogling your figure and making you feel uncomfortable. You don't mention the day you stormed out and told them what they could do with the job. You never look back. You always look forward. You mention instead how you ached to move into fashion design in order to draw from the well of your innate talent.

     Don't even think nambi-pambi. Now go for it and remember to cut the crap.

     You'll be glad you did and thank . . .


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