Forum or Against'em

"Humour with a distinctly British colour"

by Baron de Beer

As our very perspicacious readers are probably aware, we do not have a high opinion of that fiendish invention called voice mail, currently in use by many companies and institutions, including our own revered City Hall. The sole purpose of voice mail appears to be to drive callers and clients completely up the wall, or simply put, stark-raving mad!

Therefore, we were pleasantly surprised when, after trying a number of ghastly and frustrating voice mail numbers to make some inquiries at a certain bank regarding the state of our account, we called another number from our myriad collection of numbers for that institution.

We found ourselves not only talking to a human voice, but to the very manager of the Monrovia branch himself, who proved to be a very bright and helpful individual. ...No, sorry dear reader, but we will NOT divulge the number for fear that this branch might get so many calls that it would be forced to become dehumanized and install another voice mail system!

Would someone out there please explain why the bi-monthly City Council meetings always seem to be late in starting. Perhaps they could also point out to our leaders on the council that most people who wish to record these important events and set their VCRs to start recording at 1930 hrs (7:30 p.m. for those uninitiated in the mysteries the of 24-hour clock), only to find out later that they have some wasted tape time.

We fail to understand this resistance to learning the language of one's country of adoption or residence. When we resided in Puerto Rico (pronounced Pwerto Rico) the official language of the island, despite the fact that it is part of of the United States, was Spanish, and if one had to appear in court for a minor infraction such as driving a motor car at night with a non-illuminated rear number plate caused by the failure of a small bulb, one had to be able to speak and understand Spanish in order to be able to defend one's self. Come to think of it, when we arrived on these fair shores some forty years back, we had to learn how to speak, or at least, how to understand American English, by no means an easy task - for us!

King Headlines - "Rodney King on (another) drunk driving charge (DUI)" So what else is new? "King acquitted of DUI charge" So what else is new?

In case, Dear Reader, you may not have heard yet, Monrovia now has the honor of being an All-America City! But long, long before Monrovia became an AAC, this Gem city, in addition to being a bedroom community, was perhaps also known for being a hospital bedroom community.

So, in our next issue, we would like to tell you about three health-care institutions and four doctors and the wonderful services that they have all provided to your scribe and his better half.

The crafty selfish bottom-line is that whilst you, Dear Reader, do not yet know the identity of these doctors and institutions, they know who they are and if they want to find out what will appear in this column - they will all have to keep this column going (at least until the next issue) won't they! -B. de B.

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